Dubya’s Nightmares

March 29th, 2017

Hi again!

Dubya here once more!

It’s great to be back, but I don’t feel great.

It’s 13th February, 2017, and for the past month, since before the Red-blond’s swearing-in, I’ve had nightmares and I’ve entered a state of depression that’s making me really sick.

Firstly was his choice of laudatory hymn – the overture from Alun Hoddinott’s 1981 opera, The Trumpet Major, based on Thomas Hardy’s book. I guess that’s because the big man never reads anything, let alone an historical novel. Perhaps he’d see the movie if it was called The Strumpet in A Major or maybe The Strumpet on A Major – whatever, best with one of his wives in the lead role.

And I must admit that some of the signs I saw at the protests against his presidential decrees were to the point: “America was built by immigrants” and (best of all) “2/3 of Trumps’ wives were immigrants… proving once again we need immigrants to do jobs most Americans wouldn’t do” (the placard didn’t say if they were blow jobs or tug jobs).

My nightmares… they’re all about what he’s doing – you know, the businessman-dealer – and the consequences. The immigration ban on certain people from certain countries – which federal courts threw out, which The Rump threatened to fake before the Supreme Court, before he’d secured a Republican majority there – is typical of his failure to think things through before he blusters and connives his way forwards…

My fear is what he’ll do with the man he says he admires: Vlad Putsching. While keeping Russian public opinion in his own favor through nudges and lies in the state-controlled media, this authoritarian man from St Petersburg (that’s the one in western Russia, not western Florida) rules his country with a hard hand and his reservoir dogs – maybe that’s what The Rump wants to learn how to do…

Putsching wants greater international recognition and wants to be an internationally accepted statesman working for world peace – like his backing of Bashar al-Assad as the Syrian president destroys his own country.

The Rump’ll do a deal with Putsching over nuclear arms. The Russian leader says he’ll build more nuclear missiles to regain the power balance. The US leader will then tell Putsching that the IS – oops, pardon the typo, that should’ve been the US! – will also build more nuclear missiles.

“And as you know, Vlad,” the Golden Showers boy will say during a round of golf where the Russian’s small white balls were squeezed together before they disappeared with great regularity, and he gets penalty strokes for taking new balls into play, “the last time we played this ‘mine’s bigger than yours’ game, we won, because our economy could do it, while your economy not only crashed through the floor – it led to the rise of a second-rate KGB spy to the post of president. And remember how little revenue your oil and gas sales give!”

To which Putsching replies, “Sergei Pavlov Wolf is behind me all the way on this – so watch out.”

And after The Rump finally leaves on Golden Globe 1 (renamed from Air Force 1), Vlad rings to Xi Jinping, and suggests that the People’s Republic of China’s Party General Secretary and President sells all of China’s holdings of US debts and bonds.

“That’ll teach that fatso upstart not to trust devious lions!”

Dubya’s back – updated!

March 29th, 2017

7th November, 2016

Hi, Folks! I’m Dubya.

Sorry you’ve not heard from me for several months, but I’ve been enjoying life here at my retirement home in Crawford, preparing for Laura’s recent 75th birthday (what a wonderful woman and wife she is!) and painting, although that’s not been so much fun recently.

Also (and here I almost typed ‘alas’, which is just as appropriate), I’ve not been able to get a word in edgeways in public because of the noise generated during this long, exhausting and – thankfully – now-ended presidential election campaign.

I’ve become so depressed and introvert by this campaigning, by the killer clowns that have plagued our nation and by the many skeletons and bloody heads that toy shops and theatrical costume shops have been selling in recent weeks up to Hallowe’en that my paintings have started reflecting this.

They’ve become darker, duller – and many resemble Edvard Munch’s The Scream. This painting, which dates from 1893, I think, depicts a figure, perhaps a woman, standing on a balcony overlooking a party convention, holding her head in her hands and screaming.

If she’s at a Trump rally, her screech can probably not be heard… Maybe she’s protesting vocally at some of things he’s been saying about people of color, Mexicans, immigrants, Muslims and women – and/or Hillary Clinton.

I just hope her protest, if that is what it is, didn’t lead to the type of physical assault that so many protesters at Trump rallies suffered.

I must admit that neither I, my father, my brothers nor Laura really understand how our Grand Old Party could elect a presidential candidate like Trump – others were better, far better, and even my brother Jeb is more suitable for this job, although he wouldn’t be as good as I was.

But it was a war of attrition, I guess, where people accustomed to speaking and hearing the truth at least half the time couldn’t in the long run survive on an unlevel playing field against someone whose adherence to truth and facts is about as large as the reported size of his wiener.

That reminds me of something else: sex. The Rump is bad enough with his attitude towards women etc., but that Clinton woman and her husband are little better. I must give Trump due credo for pointing out Bill’s handling of women, but I simply can’t understand how Hillary could choose as her closest adviser a woman whose husband hasn’t yet gotten weaned off his wiener, which is apparently so important to him that he has to show it off to all and sundry, old or young, and whose emails on his laptop computer (and I guess that’s what he used to take those photos of his laughable pride and joy) are mixed up with email exchanges between Mrs. Clinton and her closest adviser.

I know that the FBI says there’s nothing to incriminate Hillary Clinton, but there’s been too much focus on sex – especially pussy – in this campaign.

Both I and Donald got rich because of our fathers’ and grandfathers’ work and accumulated wealth, both of us started off by holding onto our fathers’ coattails, and both of us have squandered a lot of this money.

But I haven’t abused the law and let myself go bankrupt several times, dragging other people down with me and building up so massive a tax loss that I needn’t pay tax for many years. I’ve treated the people doing business with me with equanimity and fairness, readily accepted the quality of their work, paid their bills on time and not sacked people by the hundreds.

Anyhow, because his Manhattan-based business empire is highly geared and he uses loads of borrowed capital, Trump is the incarnate elitist tied to Wall Street and the establishment, even though he paints a portrait of himself as a protector of white men hit by immigration and globalization.

And I’ve had my fair share of women, especially when I was younger (at least I think I remember it like that), but not like Bill or The Donald, but I also treated them well.

Trump has no political experience, while Mrs. Clinton has so much political (quite a bit of negative) baggage that it almost weighs her down to the ground – and the thought that with Clinton you’ll get ‘two for the price of one’ (was it ‘Billary’ or ‘HillBilly’ they offered back then? – as indicated, my memory isn’t what it used to be…) is almost too good to be true when you consider how much money flows into US politics with little accountability…

So my vote? Well, Texas is so safe a Republican state that my individual vote won’t matter. Anyway, I’m undecided – should we elect the first woman to succeed the first Afro-American president? Or a many-times (four, I think) bankrupt businessman, for what will his experience lead to: national bankruptcy?

I dunno. Look at the slogans, which could decide it. Is ‘Stronger Together’ a more appropriate slogan than ‘Make America Great Again’ (especially when the rhetoric indicates this should be rewritten as: ‘Make White American Men Great Haters Again’)?

Years ago, on a visit to what soon will revert to Little England after the BreakIt vote in June, I picked up a 1,200-page, UK-published encyclopedia (actually, I could hardly lift it) from 1994. Its entry for Donald Trump runs to five lines. The entry for Bill Clinton (both born in 1946, by the way) runs to 36 lines; Hillary’s not mentioned – but the book jacket (‘dust jacket’ over there) carries a strip of illustrations, some of which I can’t identify, but others I can: a cod (I think), Nelson Mandela and… Hillary Clinton.

That’s as good a basis for my vote as anything else…


9th November, 2016

Well, well, well – look’s like the oil will flow again, now that The Donald has trumped climate change soothsayers.

I hear that The Donald has retracted his claims that the election has been rigged in favor of the Democratic Party.

My sources at Fux Nu(d)es tell me that Trump as President and with the backing of the Republican-dominated Congress will soon issue Presidential Decrees and other initiatives to:

* Disband the Democratic Party as a threat to national security

* Prohibit all immigration and emigration, including asylum-seekers and capital transfers, until he’s figured out what the hell he’s actually promised

* Open talks with Russian President Vlad Putsching and others, including Syria, North Korea and Iran, to create an international alliance of nations aimed at collaborating towards world peace

* Make violation of women’s rights a civic duty

* Initiate corruption investigations of Hillary and Bill Clinton, leading FBI officers, the media and the Democratic Washington establishment

In other news reaching my ears, I understand that Nige ‘Any Old Iron’ Garage is to use the euphoria resulting from the BreakIt referendum and Trump’s Presidential campaign to run for President of the Untied Kingdom of Little Britain and the Rump, while the European Union will open its borders (ex-UK) to political refugees from the US and the UK.

God Bless America in our nation’s most difficult time.